EarlyBird August Family Finance Webinar - Interview with Neale Godfrey

For August's Family Finance Webinar, Jordan Wexler interviewed Neale Godfrey who is an advisor at EarlyBird for a fascinating conversation about how early childhood financial literacy has evolved and the best tips and tricks to teach our kids about money from the earliest age!

Neale is an advisor at EarlyBird and a world-renowned speaker and author, who has inspired millions through her work. She motivates, trains, educates, and frankly, entertains by delivering her core message: Empower yourself to take control of your financial life. Neale is most recognized as The New York Times #1 Best-Selling Author of Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children.

We cover the following topics:

• Neale told her story, detailing her previous roles, how she became an advisor at Early Bird and a world-renowned speaker and author.
• Neale shared the importance of saving for a child's future from as early as pregnancy and encouraging early discussions with children about money.
• Jordan discussed the importance of knowing how much money your parents or immediate family have, and breaking down the stigma of asking/knowing.
• Neale provided a step-by-step playbook from 0-18 of steps that parents need to tick off as their children grow up.
• Neale shared what she is doing next, writing a book to help women going through 'grey divorce'.

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Jordan Wexler:

‍Let's get started and we are so excited to have the illustrious, amazing Neale Godfrey in our monthly Family Finance Webinar for this August. This is a real treat as Neale has been a friend and advisor of Early Bird for almost four years now, one of the early people that we were connected to, because she is the godmother of child financial literacy, and has quite an incredible story. One of them I'm so excited to dig in on and get you to share and we're just so excited to welcome you.

Neale Godfrey:

Thank you Jordan. I'm thrilled to be here. I love what you're doing. I loved it from the moment. I met you and over a kale salad which I didn't want to eat. Here I am.

Jordan Wexler:

And here we are. So as I know your incredible story, I would love to spend the beginning of this chat, just giving a little more context of your journey as in so many ways, you have been a pioneer on many levels, and I think it'd be great to hear that story because it's just a very inspiring background. So you can kick us off and I think it was 1970?

Neale Godfrey:

‍1972. I was 21 years old, so you can do the math and Chase Manhattan Bank decided that they would have an experiment to hire a woman to become an executive, or real banker. So I was hired to go through the training program, to get my stripes and be a real banker. I was hired at the same salary that the men were hired in my credit program and that was $11,000 a year. Just go with me – it was 1972. Our goal was always to earn our age. I wanted to earn my weight by the way, but that never worked out so, I was hired at the same rate and then two weeks later, I was called into the personnel office which was HR in those days and I was told by the head of HR, "You're a woman, you are taking the job of a man. We're going to reduce your salary to $6,500 a year".

So that gives you the backdrop of what those times were like. I actually loved my time at Chase, rose through the ranks, did lots of things. I was lucky enough to put together, at that point, the largest merger in the history of the United States, which was Dupont Conico merger, and we did billions of dollars for the first time in the market. Very cool. I left after 13 years and became president of the first woman's Bank, and we needed a woman's bank because the Fair Credit Act had not been enacted until 1974, and before that time, women could not get credit on their own and that seemed goofy to me. In fact, my first credit card had then husband's name on it, with a permission slip from him, who was a law student without credit, for me to use my own credit. Ta-da! These were different times!

So while at the first woman's bank, I watched women uncomfortable handling their money and I thought "This is goofy". I did research and it was because we were never taught anything about money as kids. So I went to look for books to teach my own children about money. I was a single mom with two little kids at that point , and I took my kids to bookstore after bookstore, and there were no books. And finally, my three-year-old daughter said, "Mommy, why don't you just write the books?" So it was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I had to be a bank president. I don't know how to write books. So I figured it out, I created cartoon characters, who have financial personalities because that is the way we're connected to money. Not our socioeconomic level, but how we handle money. We're savers, or spenders, or 'hedge your bets'. That's who we are.

So I wrote the book, went into Simon and Schuster. If you're going to start a topic that does not exist, go to the world's largest publisher. I ran into Simon Schuster and said, "Ta-da! I have a book to teach kids about money. We can empower them to take charge of their financial lives". Simon and Schuster said, "Thanks for stopping by. There are no books to teach kids about money, therefore, it's not a topic of interest". So, I was banished to the streets of New York in tears and I made it about two blocks until I said, "That's ridiculous. I'll do proof of concept, that's what they need". So I opened up the first children's bank, a real bank, for kids at FAO Shorts, the toy store and an institute for youth entrepreneurship for at-risk kids up in Harlem. I started a company with them. Both were very successful, in fact, Princess Diana flew over with the Royal Children to open up accounts at the first children's bank at FAO Shorts, which was pretty cool.

Jordan Wexler:

‍And what year was that?

Neale Godfrey:

‍That was 1987, somewhere in the late 80s because I joined in 1985 and left in 1989 so it was somewhere in there. She brought the little ones over and they opened up accounts, it was very cool. Back to Simon and Schuster. "Ta-da! Proof of concept. Look at this, Princess Diana was here. We love it!" and they said, "Thanks for stopping by. There's still no books. We're not going to take a chance on a new topic". So back out to the streets in tears, carrying my manuscript and I said, "Come on, you know how to buy and sell companies from your days at Chase". So I bought a publishing company. I bought a division of McMillan under the proviso that they would publish my book and since the bank made me chairman of the board of the publishing company, at closing, I informed my editorial team that I would fire them all if they didn't publish my book. It seemed to persuade them Jordan, it was just subtle, it was subtle.

Jordan Wexler:

‍Very subtle.

Neale Godfrey:

‍Published the book, we sold 50,000 copies. I sold the company, went back to Simon and Schuster and they took me on as a 'huge property' as they called me, which I later made them pay for. And then I talked to parents at home, I talked to kids at home. I talked to kids after school and in school and the phone rang one day. And my daughter said, "Mom! Oprah is on the phone". And I said, "It's not Oprah. I have a friend who does impersonations". So I took the phone, and I did Oprah to Oprah. So it was, "Climb every mountain" and I'm singing and doing all this stuff and my daughter who was 10 at that point, held up a piece of paper that said, "You can ruin your life but don't ruin mine. Cut it out, it's Oprah". It was Oprah. I went on the show, I worked with her for four and a half years. That book hit number one in the New York Times Best Sellers list. We sold millions of copies, and the rest is history. So, here I am.

Jordan Wexler:

Here is a quick little sneak peek for everyone that's on, of some of the amazing books that Neale has written. There are many, but transitioning into this one, which was definitely the catalyst for everything and the one that hit the New York Times Number One Best Seller list, which is extremely exciting. And of course, the topic is: A Parent's Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children.

So, for all the parents on here and that will be listening into this, we like these webinars to be actionable, clear. Your story is incredible, extremely inspiring in so many areas but you dedicated everything to this idea of: parents need to get better at learning how to raise our kids to know about money and to be just financially competent, because that'll improve the world. So, talk a little bit about how you really got into this book specifically and your process, what you found as you were digging in and then some of the key outcomes that you decided to put into this book, that would be really useful for all parents.

Neale Godfrey:

‍I found that the big thing was that, here we live in the largest capitalistic nation in the world and we're proud of that – but we don't talk about money. It's still sort of this forbidden topic. Even on Oprah, we couldn't find couples to talk about money. They were talking about sex. They were very comfortable with that and I was like, "Hold it. You're willing to take your clothes off in front of somebody but you're not going to ask him what he earns or what his debt is?" and the response was always the same. "That's personal". Wow, I don't know. I thought taking your clothes off was more personal, who knew? So it's just something that's been ingrained in us, not to talk about money. And what happens when you make money the biggest secret, in the family, kids will figure it out on their own and the problem is, they figure it out wrong.

So we've learned that about other things in terms of again, sex and drugs, and other issues that we talk about but we still are not comfortable with. My whole thing was: I want to be able to educate the parents and kids about money to make them comfortable with it. This is just the business side of life. But I also wanted to team up with companies like Early Bird because I want the parents and kids to be able to actually do it. So that's why it was so exciting to team up with you guys, and you know how I feel. First thing I said to you, "As soon as you're pregnant, you need to start saving for that kid's future, because if you don't, that kid is not going to have the financial future that they want". And then all of a sudden, your choices are limited. You've got able to say to that kid, "Hey, you know what? You can't go to the private college. I'm so thrilled that you got into a cool university, but the fact of the matter is, we can't afford it or you're going to graduate with $200,000 worth of debt". So, that's where I'm at.

Jordan Wexler:

I think it's so smart, this idea, that every parent here knows when you have a secret, the kid always knows. There's always this innate, just understanding that 'Mommy and Daddy are keeping something from me' or something uncomfortable. There's an energy there. It's very unfortunate that that's the reality, yet hopefully we're starting to shift that stigma and remove it. How do you advise parents that are either expecting or just had kids, to first book in that conversation between each other? Do you have any tips and tools that you recommend?

Neale Godfrey:

Yes. Absolutely, I teach earning, saving, spending and sharing to parents and kids, and I just make it a normal part of life. Parents fight more about money than they fight about anything else. 80% of all divorces are due to money issues, not infidelity, not all the other things that we think happen. It's money, and it's because we are not comfortable talking about it. You come into the world as a saver or a spender. You need to know that about your partner, in terms of how they handle money and understand how they feel and they brought a ton of baggage into that relationship based upon money and how they were raised.

The feelings about money, and to me, not life's report card. It's not what you earn, it's what you do with it. So you need to be the role model for that kid, just like you teach them to stop at a red light, and 'don't talk to strangers' and all those really important things. You just have to have the money conversations be part of your normal life. Say to them. "Hey, I'm using the credit card, but you know what? The bill comes at the end of the month. I have to pay it. It's not a magic piece of plastic. It doesn't go away". So I do that. I start the kids when they're teeny, when they're three years old because they start saying, "I want, I want" and the only way to get money is to earn it. So you teach them the natural consequences of money and I set up a little tiny allowance system, that the parents easily can do within the household. Kids do chores and they earn some money, and then they learn to budget it. Those are the lessons that adults have not learned, as you know.

Jordan Wexler:

‍So, for parents right now that are maybe still in that secretive partnership around money, not maybe intentionally or wanting to be, but just because I've been with my partner now for five years. We are married, we have a kid, that's two years old. Yet, with my wife, I still haven't really been comfortable together to sit down and really dig in on, how much actual money do I have? How much actual money does she have? We know how much each one makes, but we just don't have a clear sense of our family wealth. How do you recommend that conversation to begin, to create the environment enables us to have that? What have you learned, that's the best way to do it?

Neale Godfrey:

‍Date night, and say, "It's going be date night and money night. We're going to come clean because I love you and I trust you and this is what we're going to do. Here's what I earn, here's what I've saved. Here's what my obligations are". Whatever that looks like and say, "Look, we have a relationship and we need to make sure that we're open about this. And also the next thing, after you do the come clean. The next thing to do is: What are our real goals for this family? Where do we want to live? How much do we spend on that? Where do we think that we want the kids to go to school? How can we make life easier?"

And for me, the Early Bird thing comes in. You know what I've always said. When you have that baby shower, instead of having people buy 8,000 scratchy things that need to be dry cleaned, that you're never going to use, open up the Early Bird account, get the family investing for the child's future. I don't care if everyone's giving $25, I don't care. And they can share that video with the child of the memories of what that means to that child. That's the gift you're giving. You're giving that kid a future and the great news is that you have the miracle of compounding on your side, that you're going to be able to do that and during that money conversation with your spouse, where you decide how you're going to move forward, make sure you're also saving for your own retirement. You're going to get old. You're going to have that. And by the way, is that the legacy you want to pass on to your kids? You want them to be taking care of you? So those are the big things: saving for the kid and saving for your own future.

Jordan Wexler:

Yeah. Caleb is, as most of you know, my co-founder and COO of Early Bird and myself – we both do this once a month, and we have this on our calendar. Caleb has a Dinner and Family Finance Night once a month on Wednesdays, and I have a similar set shared invite on my Google Calendar with my fiancé of Sunday night, once a month where we sit down we just talk through: Where are we at? We have goals that we want to do. We want to buy a home. We want to do these things and it doesn't just happen, right? These things don't just magically appear. It is a partnership and it's a collaboration and we have to break through the stigma of talking about money. It's so ridiculous.

And one of the other things I want to just be very clear about that I think, is one of the craziest pieces of this conversation. Everyone on this webinar right now, I ask you, do you know how much money your mom and dad have? I've asked probably close to a 1000 people over the last four years. 98% percent say "No idea, I have no idea how much my mom and dad have", and they're 35 years old, the people I ask.

Unfortunately, none of us get out of this alive. People do pass away, my mom and dad both unfortunately passed away and my dad did an 'okay' job with stuff but it was mayhem when he unexpectedly did die. It was like, "Wait, we have all this stuff in these accounts" and it's just so much easier if that conversation happens, but it does not have to all be one night where you share all that information. That's crazy. But it is a gradual buildup and understanding of, "Okay, we have this retirement account" and it simplifies everything and creates some accountability and responsibility, that is just critical as we continue to evolve and build that generational rational wealth.

Neale Godfrey:

‍I'm with you.

Jordan Wexler:

‍The last thing I'd love to hear from you is a quick guide book on your 0 to 18 and the ideal journey. You've said a lot of great things, of course, needing to get started at day one but as we think about this, what is a quick blueprint/playbook literally from zero – I just had my kid – to I sent them out to college. What would be the ideal steps that I want to make sure I'm checking off as my kid grows?

Neale Godfrey:

‍This is speed dating, so I'm going to do it really fast. The first thing to do when you find out you're pregnant, go set up the accounts. When the baby's born, you're going to get your Social Security Number. Do that, get everybody involved in the baby's future. One. By the time, the kid is three and they start saying, "I want, I want" put them on an allowance. I know it sounds goofy but this helps them understand that you have to do little chores. They do three-year-old chores, they earn a little money. You divide that money into a budget. Some they get to spend right away, some they get to give to charity, some they get to save for something longer term and then the rest is long-term savings. Does the three-year-old understand long term savings? No. Do the adults in America understand long-term savings? No. So, you might as well start a habit.

As they get older, by the time they're 10, you can start introducing them to the stock market. They're still doing chores and the reason you can is,  "Hey what sneakers are you wearing? Nike? Let's look it up! We went to Disney. Let's look it up. What else does Disney own? ESPN, ABC, who knew?" And on and on and on. So you keep adding the natural vehicles. By the time they're 13 years old, debit card time. That quick cash can go on a debit card and they start having a financial tool that they're using, but you're showing them, you need to have the money before you spend it.

Do not graduate them to a credit card, until you absolutely know that they're going to be responsible. Do not hand them one of your credit cards on the way out to college and say, "Hey, here it is". They'll use it. So what you want them to do is get a real job. Legally, they can get papers by the time they're 16 years old, and you want them earning money. You teach them about taxes. You teach them about saving. You have that stock account that you're putting money into, and they are putting money into, so you're getting them involved in everything. Talk to them, show them. "This is what the house costs. These are the real bills. This is what it costs for utilities. If you leave the lights on, this is what it's costing".

Set up an incentive program. If you can think of ways to save money within the household, guess what? I'll split the savings with, go through the streaming services, go through how we buy food, go through how we take vacations. Go through all of that. Get them involved in as many decisions as you possibly can. The other big one is, talk to them about what happens to them, if something happens to you. What does the will look like? What does insurance look like? What will they be able to do? What will they not be able to do? Who are they going to live with? Do not say the words, "Don't worry, you're taken care of". Nobody knows what that means. I don't know what that means.

Jordan Wexler:

Yes, you heard it here. That is really brilliant advice. It's a habit of bringing your kid along the journey, and having them involved in all of the conversations and decisions. And it might feel weird and odd but it's just reality because the other option is that they go off to college and then adulthood and having no idea what is what, and they have to then figure out and make all the mistakes that you already made. And none of us want our kids to repeat our same mistakes. My dad invested in me when I was 10 years old, he gave me the first amount of money in the TD Ameritrate account, that changed my life. We sat down together frequently and talked about where we should invest in. It was $25, $100 trades, those small things, but we built that account up and I used those funds to fund my first business, Succeed Overseas in 2012. So I would never have been able to do that without that encouragement and the actual practical money that was given and built.

Amazing. We have just a couple more minutes and I know we have some people, of course, on the call. Is there anybody that has any questions for Neale that would like to ask? I also see, Christopher said a little comment. "My dad used to apply that to us. My brother and I hated it since it took longer for us to figure out money. We want to do that for our daughter. I've started the allowance plus tasks, great advice. And do not say, 'You're taken care of', it's really great – because everyone wants to say such a comforting thing, but it's really not. It's actually detrimental.

Neale Godfrey:

‍It's the exact opposite because it causes anxiety. The money conversation, actually, unless you're completely destitute and you've borrowed and you're going to be bankrupt. But the big thing, even if you're going off the cliff, to say to them, "I love you. We're going to be together and we're going to figure it out. Life changes and all we can do is be together and that's what we're going to do". Even in a divorce, to be able to say to them that you will be taken care of. We're going to figure it out and this is the way it works. So they don't think that this is some weird thing – that they're a victim to money. This is empowering them to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Jordan Wexler:

‍Yes, amazing. If anyone has any other questions, you can throw them in the comments and/or unmute and speak up but I know we're at time with just a minute left. Neale, you were saying the way early part – what is next for the amazing and exciting Neale Godfrey?

Neale Godfrey:

‍Well, as part of the money journey is, again, dealing with people, that one of the inevitabilities unfortunately, is divorce and my 29th book that I'm writing right now is about helping women design the financial part of their life in a grey divorce. A grey divorce is divorce after 50, so that's one of the things. And what's interesting about the book is, I have a whole section on prenuptial agreements and I want that section for parents and grandparents to hand to their children, which starts the conversation when you're coupling to deal – that's one of those issues, which is the conversation starter and it makes people realize that money is the business part of your life. Not the, "I love you" because, we're not going to count on the fact that we're going to die, but we're going to count on the fact that we're going to get sick and we have health insurance". A prenup is the same thing, it's divorce insurance. So that's what I'm trying to set up.

Jordan Wexler:

Amazing, extremely important topics. I think that the percentage of divorce rate is just continuing to rise, which is unfortunate, but it is the reality of the situation and to be better prepared than not. It's so important. So thank you Neale, we are so grateful for you taking 30 minutes out of your day to give us wisdom and ideas around money and talking to our kids. Hopefully everyone found that useful and we are very appreciative of you being part of the Early Bird team and community. There's a couple more comments. Chris, we see you. We will respond in a follow up email with some of this but thank you everyone for joining this month's Family Finance Webinar. See you at the next one. Bye.

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